What major do you study if all you wanna do with your life is sleep?
I thought as a 21 year old man, I’d be more of an adult now, but my dad just gave me $40 to go buy new shoes and socks. I guess I’m still in my preppy teenage girl phase.
When I use #funny about my life, it’s probably really just me wishfully pretending it shouldn’t be #pathetic instead.
- Dad: My socks say Right and Left so I don't forget what foot they go on.
- Me: Yeah? Well, mine are omni..foot...usable... I CAN WEAR THEM ON EITHER FOOT!
I cannot jump the distance, you’ll have to toss me.
—Tyrion Lannister, A Clash of Kings (via incorrectgotquotes)
If bees go extinct, what will I unleash on unsuspecting civilians, this?
Doesn’t quite inspire the fear I was aiming for…